wife was beating a husband. 

wife was beating a husband. neighbours asked-why r u beating? wife-when i called him one girl recived the phone & said the person u r trying to reach is currently busy

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!) / 1038 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

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pathan goes India illegally

Pathan goes India illegally,

Security Officer: Who r u?
Pathan: I am Hindu.

Security Officer: So tell me the 5 names of Bhagwan!

Pathan: Yassu, Panju, Haar, Kabutar, Doli.

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aap engineer kaise bane?

Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane?

Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai.

Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pointing out the rules

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

"How much for a season pass?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Difference: It's funny

Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Pathan

Pathan: Raat ko 1 admi ne Chaku dekha kar loot lia
.
Dost: Lekin tumhare pas tu hamaisha PISTOL hoti hai na
.
Pathan: Wo mai ne chupa di warna wo bhi le jata

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Any Key

I was trying to teach this sales person (for automated entrance system) how to enter his letters into Word Perfect.
I told him to select Word Perfect from his menu and when he did it gave him the opening screen which said, 'Press any key to continue...'

He looked at the keyboard for awhile then asked me, 'Where is the 'any' key?'

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 ladki dentist ke paas gayi

1 ladki dentist ke paas gayi aur BRA utarkar let gayi
Dr gusse me bola: Main Dentist hu

Lady: Main bhi daant nikalwane hi aayi hu,

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Santa’s son was filling an application form

Santa’s son was filling an application form.The form asked about”Mother Tongue”.

Son: Papa, main aithe ki likhna?

Santa: Likh puttar,”Very Long and Uncontrolled.”:D

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Kaju aur Badaam

1 Amma

Bus Conductar ko Roz Kaju or Badaam Khanay ko deti thi.

Conductar: AMMA, aap mujhe Roz ye Kyun deti ho?

Amma: Beta, Daant to rahe nahi, Choos kar Phenk dena Theek Nahi Lagta...:i hai.;-)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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